hmmm...

i want to go back to my writing...
i want to give birth to poems...
i want to open the gates to what i feel...
i want to let loose my real self in words...

sooner or later i'll find something to break me out of my ice prison...

on another score...

every country finds itself in a tight situation every once in awhile... but i dont think the philippines can fall under that anymore... every passing day i watch the news only to be sickened with the evident bad shit that's being constantly fed to the citizens of this surely dying country...

how many people have given this speech?
how many people have been elected to purge this country of its parasites?
how many people have suffered due to grief, poverty and greed?
how many people must die like animals while the country is in a state of chains and weights?

how much of the future are we going to crush with our half hearted attempts to save ourselves?
how much of the future are we going to rob of hope and a good life?
how much of the future are we going to wound and weaken with the burden they surely do not deserve?
how much of the future are we willing to sacrifice just to give in to what we want now?

there are just some of the nagging questions running through my mind right now... the 2004 presidential elections are coming... it's actually just around the corner... the media will be once more filled with hollow promises, allegations, lies and scandals...

how are the citizens to choose?
who are the citizens to choose?

are they going to vote for the economist? are they going to vote for the movie star? are they going to vote for the character assasinator? are they going to vote for the educator? are they going to vote for the preacher?

so many people promising to make this country alive again... so many people promising to give back what was stolen from us... so many people confusing the already confused and gullible citizens of this country...

so how many filipinos are going to be blinded with money, fame, misled loyalty and promises? just how many?

all of this is part of the sick cycle that has eaten the country and her inhabitants a long time ago...

is there still hope?

i can't say...

should i be optimistic about things?

i can't really say... the whole thing weakens me...

what is there for me to say?

sorry... i want to say sorry to the future children of this land who's lives are already trashed... i want to say sorry for the future children's children for giving them no reason to hope for a decent life here in this once peaceful country... i want to say sorry for the future generations for being so helpless in those times when the people in power took everything that is rightfully theirs...

but sorry is not enough... sorry is never enough...

the only thing i can do is write this essay... to speak what is on my mind and have people read, understand and internalize each word...

think people think!!! think not of yourselves... think not of the present...

LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE AND THINK OF THE FUTURE...