watakushi wa ureshi janai...

honto ni ureshi janai...

so what do i do about it?

what can i do about it?

i always thought i can easily purge the anger that tries to go out of me...

but i found myself submerged in what seems to be an infinite ocean of intense anger...

and every time i tried to pull myself out of it... it pulls me back down, only deeper...

i have never been angry before... i've succeeded in keeping it inside of me... away from other people...

i definitely dont want to start becoming an angry being now...

i need help...

i really do...

because the only thing i can think of to get myself out of this is suicide...

it's better to end my life now than have someone get hurt by my hands because i don't have control anymore...

there's nothing that can hold me back in this area... all the promises will be nullified...

i just hope i can figure this out soon...