payback's a bitch

i do it to myself. hell, i do a lot of things to myself and not that kind you're thinking you perv. but it holds true. i do a lot of stupid things to myself.

like allowing myself to wander and then feel and eventually long for something, anything, someone, anyone..

*sigh*

i ought to stop and since i am familiar with this pattern i should just not get into it. but one way or another i still end up in this bitter bitter state of mind.

it's a stroke of genius on my part. really, it is.

+++

ever lost something you don't own?
ever had something that is not yours?
ever wanted something that you know is set to make a mess of your life but can't refuse?
ever reached out for a hand that was never really there?
ever love/d the "wrong" person?
ever thought it would be better to just dream than to live in something as vile as reality?

+++

jesus.

the angst and the emo-ness of it all is suffocating. ew.

*sigh*

reading more than a handful of fics does that to you.