..."blood can be washed away from the hands of humans... and yet they bleed to live..."

watched gensoumaden saiyuki last night... and that's what i got... well i dont think it's a direct quotation anymore but still...

anyway...

blood, just like in the play macbeth, stains one's hand when he commits murder... it's probably true for those who killed someone but what about the average person...? is this quote still applicable to them?

is it applicable to me?

the blood that stains one's hand isnt necessarily brought about by murder... that stain can be brought about by other things... things that go through one's mind...

i feel i've stained my hands with blood... not real human blood, i havent killed anyone in the physical sense... but i have killed others mentally and emotionally... crushed they're personalities in order to protect my own... planted seeds of doubt to prove to myself that i'm wrong about them... impaired them to satisfy the questions that run through my mind like a two year old child running the place down...

but do people really go about their lives with these actions intented for others to keep the cycle of life going? balanced?

if what i did stained my hands with blood... then i can wash it away... but it is essential for things like these to happen to me in order to live more fully! in order to learn more and drive further than i ever have...

this realization brings me to something my father sent me...

"i wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun..."