to be continued~ ^^,

Friday, May 26, 2006

depression get thee behind me//the eulogy

you only miss what you lose.. yes, it's bitter-sweet. it's not yours to lose and yet you feel like something was taken from you. it's ironic and unerving. it sucks..

i just dont want to lose anything else. but things dont always go my way... right now, my once trusty and very much favored EHD /external hard drive/ died on me. along with ALL of my files. anime, research materials, modules, mp3s and photos. okay that half i can easily replace but what about my poems, essays, short stories and articles? they're all gone. every single one of them, gone. like i never wrote them.

just when i was about to transfer my files to the new EHD, my old one fails on me. everything i wrote is gone. why didnt i make hard copies? what did i possibly do to my old ehd that lead to this? am i being too dramatic? maybe.. but those files were my own thoughts and feelings and now they're gone. it makes me feel like more than half of me got corrupted and erased just like that.

i'd like for it to talk and tell me why it wiped all of my files... but it can't talk and it is now reduced to nothing. just an encased series of fried circuit boards..

i will miss you little brownie who unquestioningly carried and embodied my feelings, thoughts, creativity and escape. you who housed a big part of me.

i wish you were a real person so i could have bludgeoned you to the verge of death for erasing all of my files but i am not so lucky. and so i shed unwanted tears for all that will never be and for all that once was..


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