to be continued~ ^^,

Saturday, October 04, 2008

of high blood pressure and aching legs

time check! it's 10:48PM. yup as in, 10 in the evening folks.

just got back from siena's year-long celebration of its jubilee.. yes, yes... bloody thing dragged on from 7am till 10 in the effing evening.



what got me was that... at the end of the program, the only college students there who weren't taking up BSERE and who performed were me and aldrich.


ever tried covering an event in a "gym"/"hall" that also doubles as a freaking oven because of the lack of ventilation and AC units for FOUR hours? ever had to use two cameras, a sony R1 and a sony cybershot dsc-w55 at the same time? ever had to stand and run about and sweat like a pig during said 4 hours?

ever had people who belittle the work and effort you had to put in something? ever had people tell you, "madali lang yan!" when in fact they have no clue as to what you had to do to get shit done?

what exactly am i getting at?

oh yeah...

i'm tired. stressed out. still sick and having problems breathing. i got rained on. slapped by the dean sa arm (sure it didn't really hurt but we are NOT close. and you do NOT slap people who are soooo tired, they're in zombie mode). i feel like an idiot for choosing to stay so i can do my job. well shit...

covering the bloody event, or ANY event for the matter, and playing photographer is NOT my job.

i feel like a total dunce, jackass, idiot, half-wit, lahat na! for staying... specially after i get told that people over at the college don't think i'm the editor-in-chief of the red lily... they think the EIC is aldrich, my news editor. they think that the dominating number of by-lines make you the EIC...

fuck that.

makes me want to cry...

they have no idea....

things like these make me hate the publication. make me regret being the EIC. make me think i'm an idiot for suffering sleepless nights laying out the paper, editing photos, being the target of our adviser's tyrades, sacrificing classes to get the damned thing done, staying on the phone for what seems like an eternity relaying corrections to the printing people...

for the record, it's not that i do not write. for two issues, i have cut my opinion collumn to make way for other people. i don't write news articles on events because i'm too busy collating every single article, making sure they're corrected and not plagiarized, figuring out what gets printed, finding the right photos for said articles and working on NOT failing in any of my subjects...

if you all think you can do a better job..
if you think the work i do is easy...
if you're bloody willing to get shot down at every turn...
if you want to work with a couple of plagiarizers and wannabees who can't effing write for peanuts...

i am BEGGING you to come up to me or our adviser and declare that you'll be a more competent, effective and substantial EIC.


since i'm on a roll... might as well take this opportunity to say: the nosebleed joke is getting old people. is the bloody joke really something i have to live with just because i prefer to speak, write and think in english?

damn it. ayos lang rin naman sana kung minsanan eh at saka kung kaibigan mo lang yung gumaganon sa iyo. kaso, nakakabanas kasi talaga kung maya't maya ginaganon ka. nagseseryoso ka, may importanteng bagay kang gustong ipahayag, sasabihan ka ng "teka! nosebleed!"

huwag na lang kaya akong magsalita? tigilan ko na rin kaya ang pagiisip? sayang naman kasi yung galon-galon na dugo na umaagos ika ninyo sa inyong mga ilong. marunong rin naman akong magmalasakit. paki wari ko naman ay madali akong mapakiusapan.

oh, heto. para sa ikabubuti ng lahat. para sa bawat patak ng dugo na nagawa kong panalaytayin mula sa inyong mga ugat patungo at palabas ng inyong mga ilong, titigilan ko na. mananagalog na lamang ako.

kaso, baka naman pati ang pananagalog ko'y hindi ninyo magustuhan? hindi kasi ako marunong magsalit ng filipino... tagalog ang alam ko dahil sa sa nasugbu, batangas ako natutong managalog. pag nananagalog ako, may punto kadalasan. nasugbu, batangas ba naman.

sa pagkakataong, hindi pa rin tayo magkaintindihan dahil sa mga kadahilanang aking nabanggit, ano ang tingin ninyong nararapat kong gawin?

mahirap pumwesto sa lugar na ayaw naman sa yo.

sumisid na lang kaya ako? baka sakaling magkaintindihan kami ng aking paboritong tilapia at bangus.


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