why is it that the people who ignore me notice me when i dont want them to?

why can't they just leave me alone atleast right now... shit... i hate it when people breathe down my neck to do shit... i hate it... i really really really really really hate it... they can't order me around... bully me into doing whatever it is that i must do...

i hate them... i really hate them...

i have no love for such people... and i barely have respect for them either...

i fucking hate fucking dial-up!!!

god damn it! why won't my mom just get us a better connection than this fuckingly slow fucked up dial up connection from screwed up bayantel huh?!

i feel like smashing somebody's head on and through my monitor...

totally senseless ranting go!

>.< ugh... who ever said working out makes people feel better? i soooooooooooo did not! i had my first work out session thingy early this morning... came out crap tired and irritated... X.x

i hate being upstaged by a handfull of people... i will admit defeat and being 2nd to people i know are just greater than i am but there are some people i dont wanna loose to... buuuuuuuu!!! >.<*

bisexuality does not suck! come forward those who disagree... -.-

*twirl* *skip *hop* *pose* *V!*

dulcinea eclairs are just plain pastry love! not too sweet not to bland... XD i know something else that tastes even better than eclairs... :P and i'm the only person who gets to have it... envy me! XD

ummm... ani con is almost here!!! i still dont have clothes... yay!!! tenchan shop with me? :D

*bounces off the wall*

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

i just realized i would kill for ten tons of yaoi manga and anime vcds//dvds :P

teni puri rules!!!

***

chickens own your soul!!! XD ask creole!!! they soooooooooo do!

i dislike tears as much as i like it on other people and on its own... i hate having to cry when i get emotionally hurt... but what i loathe the most is having people see my tears... especially if they caused them...

i want my wonderful apathetic self back... i dont want to feel as often anymore... and i dont want to care as much...

god... id bleed for one person right now if i could ... but i can't cut anymore... tenchan would kill me if i do... i dont know if bleeding for another would make things better... but i can't think of anything else... it feels like the right thing to do...

...yeah i think letting out at this very moment is a good thing... you can talk shit all you want... but you're dead to me anyway... i dont have to listen to anyone who claims to be my friend or a concerned person preach about how UNFAIR hurting myself is...

i'm confused as hell... and giving me lectures and showering me with faux care IS NOT HELPING ME!!! telling me "aww... it's okay..." is not what i need...

promise to walk away from me in the middle of talking/ranting if you're just going to tell me things that hell knows would not help anyone...

i would only live and feel for one person... and even though i said i wouldnt care as much... if you approach me and you need me to listen i would...

dreams, finances and a whole lot of shit

see... it really does kind of suck when relatives innocently//unknowingly antagonize you for legally being in the negative//unconventional state that you're in...

*sigh* whatever...

thank god for giving me free will so i can choose to be as apathetic as i want to be... i need not feel any more of that screwed up bull my sister spews at me...

ch...

if one dreams of something that shouldnt happen fo sanity's sake... will it trully happen in the real world?

shit...

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!! i freaking hate politics... how money dominates everything and the realization that i cant seem to have enough of it...

damn it...

...anyway... some dork in ym threatened to kill me... *shrug* you should know that i welcome such threats... if someone does come in and manage to kill me i would be eternally thankfull... it's true... so if you or anyone else you know want to make me feel scared//bad? don't threaten to kill me...