to be continued~ ^^,

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


it's hot.

ang init.

yep. summer's here and it's not being shy at all~! thankfully, the summer season allows me to enjoy the holy week at my grandma's. meaning total relaxation, seemingly endless cooking of breakfast for all and let's not forget the beach.

sure sure.. i'm not really supposed to have fun during the said holiday. but i'll be damned if i dont get a chance to shrivel up like an over-sized prune on the beach. :D


hmm... there's a whole bunch of things i need to get done before the week ends. enroll for summer classes, have my passport renewed, enroll for language school.

summer classes, a seemingly mundane activity that forces you to haul your ass off and out of your bed and get ready for school in this unforgiving heat.

passport business. i'm going to hongkong~! *gasp* i'm going out of the country for the first time! yay. shopping. i would have to miss out on the first week of classes. o.O why am i not really enjoying this?

language school. japanese and french! yeah~ see, i'm really working hard to use up all my braincells so they dont just disintegrate without being utilized.

i wonder if i'll ever survive the summer...


and here i thought that nobody could mess with my head more than he did/has. obviously i am quite mistaken here. somebody trumped guy-previously-mentioned! and i can't believe just how much he's got my brain in knots on what seems to be very minimal effort.



i'm having fun~!

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Friday, March 23, 2007

payback's a bitch

i do it to myself. hell, i do a lot of things to myself and not that kind you're thinking you perv. but it holds true. i do a lot of stupid things to myself.

like allowing myself to wander and then feel and eventually long for something, anything, someone, anyone..


i ought to stop and since i am familiar with this pattern i should just not get into it. but one way or another i still end up in this bitter bitter state of mind.

it's a stroke of genius on my part. really, it is.


ever lost something you don't own?
ever had something that is not yours?
ever wanted something that you know is set to make a mess of your life but can't refuse?
ever reached out for a hand that was never really there?
ever love/d the "wrong" person?

ever thought it would be better to just dream than to live in something as vile as reality?



the angst and the emo-ness of it all is suffocating. ew.


reading more than a handful of fics does that to you.

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

uncommon sense.

a little before 12 midnight i get an im from this guy i dont know but is on my contacts.. here's how the conversation went..

Aldrich Argana: hey
Aldrich Argana: sup?
Jem-chan: not much..
Aldrich Argana: ano po cors mo?
Aldrich Argana: need help eh
Jem-chan: mass comm...
Jem-chan: with what?
Aldrich Argana: yaikes.. kala ko nursing..
Aldrich Argana: fianals ko kasi pregnancy at abortion.. tapos kailangan ko mag defense..
Jem-chan: hmm okay
Jem-chan: what about it?
Aldrich Argana: eh wala naman ako knowledge about pregnancy eh.. kala ko nursing ka rin kaya syempre mas aware girls dun [wtf?!]
Jem-chan: ^^ may notes ka na dun dba?
Jem-chan: tingin ko
Aldrich Argana: wala
Aldrich Argana: abortion lang..
Aldrich Argana: meron
Jem-chan: mas maraming alam na data ang libro at internet sa ken
Aldrich Argana: wala eh.. hirap sa net.. buti nga hindi thesis na tipong papa survey ako ng pro and anti abortion eh..
Aldrich Argana: tsk tsk
Aldrich Argana: kung ikaw pro or anti pro abortion and why?
Jem-chan: anti abortion
Aldrich Argana: waht if ayaw mo then gusto ng guy or vice versa?
Jem-chan: people need to learn to own up to their actions and its consequences
Aldrich Argana: waht if ayaw mo then gusto ng guy or vice versa?
Jem-chan: ayaw ko na ano?
Aldrich Argana: maging pregnant
Aldrich Argana: maybe too young or incest or scared sa parents..
Jem-chan: well, it would still be my body
Jem-chan: my decision
Jem-chan: and i think i would just end up having the baby if ever
Aldrich Argana: eh waht if ikaw ang may ayaw tapos gusto ng guy?
Aldrich Argana: *what
Jem-chan: ewan ko lng
Jem-chan: hindi ko masasagot yan
Jem-chan: kasi sa totoo lang
Aldrich Argana: hirap diba..
Jem-chan: hindi ko nakikita ung sarili ko sa posisyon na yan
Jem-chan: kung gagawa ako ng katangahan handa akong panagutan kung ano man ang kalalabasan nun
Jem-chan: hindi ko na problema ang ibang tao
Aldrich Argana: kailangan ko pa mag hanap ng nagpa abort.. tsk tsk.. kasi masyadong mababaw ung takot sa parents or too young.. kasi meron ako friend 15 years old pero single mom
Jem-chan: ah okies
Aldrich Argana: pedia kasi prof dun kaya kaialangan detailed eh.. langya eh sa net puro medical abortion lang eh.. walang pros and cons..
Aldrich Argana: dapat pa ata mag hanap ako ng taga states para masagot ung mga un eh.. dun kasi alam ko legal un eh.. then sa pinas alam ko bawal
Jem-chan: tama
Aldrich Argana: pano ko naman iddefense kung bakit bawal dito tapos sa ibang bansa pede.. [yeaaah.. how the heck is he going to ever "defense" that?!]
Jem-chan: kasi po
Jem-chan: the philippines
Jem-chan: is mostly a catholic country
Aldrich Argana: what if itanung nung panel na bakit sa states maliking bansa legal sya tapos sa pinas na napaka sikip na bawal?
Jem-chan: and since abortion is against hte teachings fo the catholic church
Jem-chan: abortion is illegal
Aldrich Argana: ano ung hte?
Jem-chan: the
Jem-chan: typo lng
Aldrich Argana: ah..
Jem-chan: how old are you?
Aldrich Argana: 23
Jem-chan: ah.. i see
Aldrich Argana: pero never pako naka buntis ah
Jem-chan: right
Aldrich Argana: 23 2nd year nursing [you for real? 23? really?!]
Jem-chan: ok
Aldrich Argana: and you how old?
Aldrich Argana: or how young?
Jem-chan: 21
Aldrich Argana: ah wait.. sabi mo bawal diba.. pero bakit meron kaming prof na pag nakita sa ultrasound na magiging trisonomy 21 ung pinag bubuntis open daw sya sa abortion..
Aldrich Argana: see.. nakasalalay pagiging 3rd year ko dun..
Jem-chan: i have no idea what a trisonomy 21 is
Aldrich Argana: mongoloid..
Jem-chan: but i'm guessing it's nothing like a normal pregnancy
Jem-chan: it's all a matter of perspective and personal morals eh
Aldrich Argana: ung magiging special child.. nowadays nakikia na sa ultra sound un eh..
Jem-chan: your prof probably thinks that the child will not have much of a future as a "mongoloid" so he'd rather not have the child live
Aldrich Argana: kaya nga.. but still nasa pinas sya.. so BAWAL.. eh bakit nya sasabihin na open sya sa ganun..
Jem-chan: because
Jem-chan: he pities the child
Jem-chan: he believes its existence wont be fruitfull or would only be painfull
Aldrich Argana: pwede ba sa court un..
Jem-chan: ..i think it's pretty easy to spot his reasons
Jem-chan: i wouldnt know
Jem-chan: my knowledge of the philippine constitution doesnt include the family code
Aldrich Argana: but still sa batas ng pinas bawal..
Aldrich Argana: un ung nakita ko sa net..
Jem-chan: why do you think your professor woudl allow it then?
Jem-chan: has he done it?
Aldrich Argana: sabi nya daw
Aldrich Argana: "oo" daw.. once..
Jem-chan: why do you suppose he went ahead and did it
Jem-chan: think
Jem-chan: put yourself in your prof's shoes
Jem-chan: rationalize
Aldrich Argana: syempre may sariling mundo ung baby.. pero sabi nya nga illegal.. pero open sya sa ganun..
Jem-chan: why nga
Jem-chan: bakit sa tingin mo open sya dun
Aldrich Argana: hindi naman un ang tanung ko eh.. kung open sya edi bahala sya.. kung sasabihin nya na kaysa pahirapan mo ung bata sa pag laki at ung parents edi terminate na agad.. pero nasa law ng pinas na BAWAL ang abortion.. hindi naman pedeng pag dating sa court sasabihin nya na naawa lang ako..
Jem-chan: that's true
Jem-chan: so what other reasons do you think your prof has
Aldrich Argana: so bakit nya isasacrifice un PHD nya para lang dun? dba..
Jem-chan: what do you think is the answer to that question
Aldrich Argana: labo mo kausap
Aldrich Argana: lahat ng tanung ko binalik mo
Aldrich Argana: thanks anyways,
Jem-chan: because the answers need to come from you
Jem-chan: it's how you interpret the problem
Jem-chan: you cant use my way of reasoning for your defense because the answer wouldnt be yours and you may not be able to support it
Jem-chan: gets mo?


he single-handedly made me lose faith and trust in the future philippine health care system..

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007




the semester and the academic year is nearing it's end. it doesn't, by any means, signify that hell week or hell season is over but the thought of a long vacation after those weeks of headaches and cramming and toiling is enough to make me feel giddy.

i am going back to school in the summer though. lol. summer classes. i don't mind it that much so it's all good.


300 is the freaking best~!

if you haven't seen it... you're definitely missing out.


it will all be over by the time the school year officially closes!


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Sunday, March 11, 2007

copy + paste


Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was
missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting
on the seventhday.

He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly
pointed downwards
through the clouds, "Look,Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example,
Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth, but cold and harsh
while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant."

"I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched

"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will
be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed
to a group of Islands and said, "What are those?"

"Ah," said God. "That's the Philippines, the most
glorious place on earth.
There are beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains and

The people from the Philippines are going to be
handsome, modest,
intelligent and humorous and they are going to be
found traveling the world.

They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high
achieving and they
will be known throughout the world as carriers of peace and love."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then
proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance. "

God replied wisely,

"Wait until you see the idiots I designated as their leaders."

**entry read and copied from Tokneneng

myTunes //new videos//

:P thank you j-kun for the introducing me ^.~

the videos~!!


Saturday, March 10, 2007

turning 21 isn't as grand as people make it...

for those of you who aren't in the know, i turned 21 last march 7 of this year.

i was excited for the most part. i left being 20 with the most interesting of experiences but now that the hype of my birthday has worn off.. i'm starting to think that being 21 isn't that great.

it's just another year. what makes it different from the rest?

hmm... what's tugging at my brain cells is the fact that i might be going through emotions that are set on a cyclical pattern. i just turned 21 but angst is just right around the corner, to which i'll give my mom sole credit for.


i am such a juvenile.


on school::

march 8, '07

i wake up around 4 in the morning after only having 2 hours of sleep to work on my book report that was due later on that day. the rest of the class, albeit two people, get to pass their report next week, but i was told that my deadline was to be on that day.


ever the procrastinator, i only began working on my book report that week. wednesday morning to be more exact.


true to my cramming skills, i finish the paper. i'm guessing i'll get a b+ if not an a- on it since there's going to be a verbal report to go along with it.

very much sleep deprived, i haul my sorry ass to school and wait for lit class. 1pm... 1:30pm... BOOM~! we were told all afternoon classes were cancelled that day..

i think my brain died and was revived at the same moment.


as if that wasn't enough.. i went back to the house and straight to bed feeling really pissed about a whole damn lot of things. [note: angst.] my pod was turned way up and the fans were directed towards the general direction of my bed. i was pretty much set to enjoy an isolated, detached sleep. come to think of it, i was already asleep when i felt a hand on my forehead and it wont go away.

i pull one of the ear plugs from my ears and open my eye to see my mom hovering over me.
me: what?
her: did someone bully you at school?
me: [what the flying fuck?!] no.
her: [keeps at the annoying thing she was doing to my head] you okay?
me: [leave me alone..] yes! i just want to catch up on some sleep.

i put the ear plug back and i close my eyes. i feel her leave. i wake up around 6 in the evening. mama, my aunt, sat beside me and i woke up because of the bed shifting. i greet her and she tells me things i'll just leave out since that would mean a lengthier post. that's when i notice the pins and needles sensation on my hands. i look at them and lo~! they're swollen and bloody red.

allergic reaction.

i only ate once that day. breakfast. with my mom. stuff she bought. must be the fish or the shrimp. seafood allergy. effing great.

the swelling has gone done since i changed meds. i get to have the pink pills with steriods in them. bleah. the only upside is that the meds knock me out most of the time so it's all good. i ended up having to cancel my drinking session with a couple of buds to celebrate my birthday.

like i said, the swelling has gone down.. only to be replaced by the annoying itching. heh.

seriously... kids, if you think turning 21 will be some sort of exodus or life-changing chapter..

fucking think again.


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Monday, March 05, 2007




Saturday, March 03, 2007


my phone somehow ended up catching a virus.. it flickered and died on me earlier today around lunch time..


i ended up in robinson's place ermita with my mom around 4:30pm. left my phone with the repairshop and went ahead to see how we could kill a whole hour. an hour that the repair people spent on reformatting my phone and, in the process, deleting everything that's saved in the phone's built-in memory.. e.g. my whole phonebook, pictures, etc.. etc... etc...

it's now working alright.. i somehow ended up saving some of the numbers on my sim so it wasn't a total loss... i still feel bad about it though..

oh well...

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what the fuck is wrong with me?!

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