DabbleDoodle

to be continued~ ^^,

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

prof decided she wouldnt be teaching us today on the account that she wasnt feeling up to it...

bleah...

it's 2pm in the afternoon and my next class is at 4:30...

i hate waiting... soooooooooo... i decided to make use of my free time by giving this internet cafe business... >.< it's not really pleasant... i'm surrounded by other mapuans who seem to be born with megaphones down their throat... why are they so goddamn loud??!

geh...

hmmm... i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored... and sleepy...

i hope tenchan picks me up later after my lab class... i havent seen him in ages... well.. actually... i did see him recently... we had dinner after i left creole's place and he drove me back to my house... >.< total amount of time spent together? one bleeping hour... and we didnt even get to play pf together!

mooooving on...

i know what i'm about to share is sooo last week but it's really stuck in my head...

arred told me his thoughts on love... he defined love as something that offers you or is equal to eternal happiness... something perfect... and since nothing in this world is perfect then love does not exist...

let's skip the debate part shall we?

i wonder what made arred say that... at that time he really did sound sure of this theory of his... i mean... i just cant believe that arred, the guy who's with his dream girl right now, told me that love does not exist... that what we feel is love is actually another emotion... something different from love...

>.<

*huff* even the gothic, the pessimistic and the morbid believe in love...

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

i was just about to write down a post for monday when my train of thought was jerked back... way back to where it came from by my sister's antics...

*sigh* anyway, that's classified under over and done with... something that i can never take back or change no matter what i say or think or do...

bleah... the next time any of the people in this house tell me too leave them alone... or that they never want to see me again... i am going to take that as a pass for freedom and will definitely leave this forsaken and broken house...

geh...

i miss tenchan more than anything...

God Save Me
by:
littleSUNDAY

Picture of places
fading to grey
trapped by the shadows
of society
the world is the hunter,
we are the bait
we live in a nutshell
waiting to break

I walk alone inside and never find my way
© Out of season is this twisted reason

why do we live
when we don't want to be dead?
why do we starve
when we don't want to be fed?
I can't retreat,
I can't smile

I walk alone inside and never find my way
© Out of season is this twisted reason

(solo)

I walk alone inside and never find my way
© Out of season is this this twisted reason

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Friday, October 15, 2004

fuuu... i'm going to school today...

bleah... yesterday i was having lbm... and it eventually died down... but i'm feeling that stupid feeling in my gut again right now... it just makes the idea of going to school more unacceptable...

but i am going... fuck everything...

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

...damn...

i must be the most, if not one of the most, idiotic people on earth...

i got held up today, on my walk towards the fx station from sm mla... this small, stout lady approached me saying i was invovled in her daughter's stuff getting stolen... bleah bleah bleah... so i let her check my stuff... for probably, 10 times... untill, i got on the phone with my mom and she had my wallet in her hand... @.@ Php 700 was in the wallet... every single peso was my mother's... bleah... she finally let me go after keeping me away from riding home for 20 or so minutes...

i had ten-chan call me to calm me down... i was a wreck... i was still feeling nervous and shit from being confronted like that and then when i was a few feet away from my house i decided to check my wallet and low and behold... my mom's money was gone...

so there...

they're mode of operation?
  1. scare the shit out of their victim
  2. keep them close
  3. get their money
  4. let the victim go to realize how dumb they were...

my mom and my aunt and my cousin told me i shouldnt feel so bad... but how can i not? fuuu... you really do learn something new everyday and i learned that i am actually dumber than i thought...

tenchan told me that the "fucking bitch" who stole the money in my wallet would get her just desserts, though i hope she gets more than that, soon...

resolution?

i am to be sent to school and fetched from school... isn't that fun?

not only do i feel stupid... i also feel like a total retard!!! @.@

and oh yeah... the kitten i was taking care of outside the house... also died... what can i say? aside from being stupid retard i am also an irresponsible bitch...

fuck the fucking world...

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Thursday, October 07, 2004

ten-chan scolded me awhile ago... for a number of things...

  1. for not taking his advice to take a day off... my cold got worse... i'm now sporting a much much more sore throat and a hurting face and a throbbing head... @.@
  2. and for not having my dinner at that time... it was 7:30-ish when he called...
  3. lastly, for posting stuff that are generally about hate, pain, anger, depression and satanism "bullshit"...

i said sorry... and there's no point in arguing when you know that the other party is right... so after i am through with this post... i'm deleting the previous one... he showed total dislike towards the stuff i got and posted from www.morbidangel.com...

i'm terribly sorry to ten-chan... and he's right... my life is not just about the negatives... i get some streaks of happiness too every once in awhile... and that's when i'm with him... or when the house is in total silence... or when i get praised by my professors with regards to my work... or when i dont get noticed when i want to remain invisible... and other all those small things that seem irrelevant but highly pleasant... like that prize ten-chan won for me... or all those times he drove me back here... or for all those smiley faces he im-ed me...

i am not totally pathetic, i get it now ten-chan... :) thanks for the reality check... and i'm really really really sorry about getting myself even more sick... @.@

meet my first ever neopet MeeChan!:

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ps: i wuv ya ten-chan! :P


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

fuuu... yesterday was a very bad day for me...

one of the kits i was taking care of got run over by a car... i cant remember crying that hard and feeling that bad before...

turns out that some shithead messed with the cover of the box where i placed the two kits... geh... so one of them got out and blindly walked towards the street... i saw the dead kit's mangled body right in the middle of the street with its guts all over the place... his pink intestines and other body parts displayed morbidly for everyone to see... damn...

if i say more... i'll end up crying... again... something i'm not looking forward to since i have a cold and i'm pretty sure that crying would just make me feel worse...

bleah...

3rd day of school... i met up with all of my professors... my first period prof seems nice... the one after him is gay i think... and really scary... my physics prof however is really fun and nice... and for my last period... i saw my rizal prof... a stuck-up balding gay dude who talks too loud...

@.@

WHY MEEE???

one thing came out right from today though... i managed to buy a new book... dan brown's deception point... will read it tomorrow... i just feel too bloody sick right now... geh...

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Monday, October 04, 2004

today was/is the first day of the 2nd term of the 2nd year of the bloody school year...

profs did a no show... went out with five other people... ate... actually we pigged out at tokyo tokyo... we had a tokyo tokyo food fest... prize? a pair of chopsticks inked with the date and stuff from the same restaurant...

geh... also watched a movie... the title of which i forgot... but one thing i remembered real good was johnny depp's pimple... heehee

i'm just tired...

i dont know if it's just me not wanting to go back to school... or it's just me being plain and downright sick... my head feels light and funny...

maybe i should ask my doctor to give me sleeping pills... i've been having a hard time sleeping lately...

i hate me...

i think i have a couple or three mental disorders... do medicines help? i doubt it... but i'll take em anyway...

I NEED/WANT MONEY... fuuu... i hate meeeeeeeee!

dale's sick too... he wants to put himself in an institution if carol-anne doesnt do anything... @.@ he's bipolar among other things... i sure hope he doesnt sign himself up for those "treatments"... we all know they dont work... fuckers...



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Saturday, October 02, 2004

catatonia - An abnormal condition variously characterized by stupor, stereotypy, mania, and either rigidity or extreme flexibility of the limbs. It is most often associated with schizophrenia.

katatonia - A thirteen year old metal band that is "as with so many truly special bands are all contradictions, still ostensibly a metal band, but purveyors of an understated kind of grandeur that has long outgrown all or any generic restrictions” - Jim Martin.

why talk about them?

i was browsing through darklyrics.com when one of their songs caught my eye...

the song is off their 1998 album entitled Discouraged Ones:

I Break

Sounds of imbalance
Sleeps through the never
The artificial lightsource
Is creeping with flies

And this time i break
I will never make
Another day
Defiant to what's delivered

I will find a way
To sever myself
Exit all today
You can't see this
Did you ever say
I break sever
I will find a way
Visit me when i'm there

The weakness of hope
Is the strength of decline
Remember what's past ways
And what i've become
The joy of not being
Something i need
I'm only weather
But only to me

*lyrics from DarkLyrics.com

mp3s, photos, info and such are available on their official website

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